When two people or more people interact, by evaluating their verbal and non-verbal cues, you can get pieces of information which can lead to a better understanding of communication. I had the opportunity during lunch to observe a small group of male corporate workers who sat opposite me in a restaurant. Based on their appearance, I can tell that they are quite well-to-do due to their branded watches and well-dressed suit. The 3 of them are Chinese, one of them is distinctly older than the other two, and the older one seems to have a higher authority which means that the other two are his subordinates. The reason, I presume that is because the older one gave off the impression of a leader due to some non-verbal cues during their interaction. Firstly, the two younger men give off a weaker impression, as they kept on smiling to the older one while the older one did not smile back. From this non-verbal cue, I can tell that the youngers are showing a sign of shallowness which may be to impress the older man who has a higher status.
Another critical observation I made, is that the older man kept on checking on his mobile phone even when the subordinates are talking. Even though the old man does that openly, the other two does not appear to be irritated by his action. It's so upsetting however thinking back since the old man holds a higher position than the other two, he might have more important contacts on his phone which he set to answer whenever he can. Also, with the study of chronemics, it is often said that those who hold a higher status(having more power) usually do not give time to those who are in a lower position. However, those who are in a lower position mostly want to appeal time with those with a higher position; perhaps the younger ones are trying to win his favour - maybe for a promotion.
Thinking back to this situation, I realise that in the current society communication with someone of a higher position and older age might be a potential problem. Communication with someone of a higher authority means you will need to give your utmost respect to the person when he/she is speaking, but it might not work vice versa.
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John Yio
https://johnyio.blogspot.com/
Josiah Goh
https://josiahsem1902.blogspot.com
Shi Wei
sem1902darrell.blogspot.com
-Yee Tong
Another critical observation I made, is that the older man kept on checking on his mobile phone even when the subordinates are talking. Even though the old man does that openly, the other two does not appear to be irritated by his action. It's so upsetting however thinking back since the old man holds a higher position than the other two, he might have more important contacts on his phone which he set to answer whenever he can. Also, with the study of chronemics, it is often said that those who hold a higher status(having more power) usually do not give time to those who are in a lower position. However, those who are in a lower position mostly want to appeal time with those with a higher position; perhaps the younger ones are trying to win his favour - maybe for a promotion.
Thinking back to this situation, I realise that in the current society communication with someone of a higher position and older age might be a potential problem. Communication with someone of a higher authority means you will need to give your utmost respect to the person when he/she is speaking, but it might not work vice versa.
Last Edited:
Commented on
John Yio
https://johnyio.blogspot.com/
Josiah Goh
https://josiahsem1902.blogspot.com
Shi Wei
sem1902darrell.blogspot.com
-Yee Tong
Hi Yee Tong, I feel that you have picked up on tiny details of how the old man reacts during the conversation. It reveals a lot about the standing of each person in a group, and how they communicate. However, I feel that even though communicating with someone of a higher standing and age might be a potential problem with regards to respect, I feel that for the older generation, what they appreciate is a listening ear, and not whether they show mutual respect. From the older person's perspective, the younger generation should listen to him due to his position, age, and experience. The older person's perspective might be selfish, and limits the way we can interact with him, but from my experience, if you show respect to him, and not in the fawning kind of way, he will eventually respect you as well. If however someone fawns over him due to his power, he might loose respect for that very person.
ReplyDeleteOverall, I think that you have good observation and pick up key details.
Hi Yee Tong !
ReplyDeleteHappy Chinese New Year ! Hope you enjoyed your holiday !
The moment you mentioned that the two men does not appear to be irritated by the old man action, it became obvious to me that the old man might be the boss. Your observation and comments clearly shows that you are trying to apply what you learnt about Chronemics to access this situation. Indeed, it seems like your research / peer teaching has paid off ! Which reminds me of a quote by Benjamin Franklin " Tell me and i forget. Teach me and i remember. Involve me and i learn."
Overall, i stand with you on the point that we need to give our utmost most respect to the person who is speaking regardless of our or their status.
-Andy
Hi Yee Tong, nice observations you have made, from their appearance, age and to their minor habits. Its also great that you managed to observe their social status just by observing them for a short duration. I would also make such deductions myself, for usually the junior would respect their elders which, would be attributed to their cultural upbringing and their human instincts to build rapport with their superiors. Furthermore, the senior would usually abuse such elevated status in which they were granted and view the juniors opinions lightly. This has also evolved into a cultural norm in which elders take their respect for granted. However, this could also be attributed to some underlying issue, such as feeling indebted to the elders or trying to get a favor from the elder, in which the juniors would willingly belittle themselves in order to achieve such. Moreover, although elders may get carried away from the respect they receive, they are ultimately older therefore wiser as cultural norm would be. Therefore, we should be at ease giving them the respect they deserve, despite brassiness.
ReplyDeleteAll things considered, great observations you have made by applying what were taught in class. cheers.
Regards,
Josiah Goh
https://josiahsem1902.blogspot.com/
Hi Yee Tong,
ReplyDeleteVery good analysis and I very much agree to your last point that communication in the future would be problematic.
Firstly, our society has integrated so much into digital technology that it is somply impossible to live without those convenient deiveces we call smart phones. We are unable to advert our eyes away from the screen during lunch time, study time or even times when we are communicating with others. They sat the eyes is the door to our soul and without eye contact, conversations will feel empty and pointless.
Next, like you mentioned, superiors are feeling more superior while subordinates are being treated as if their time do not worth anyhting. Who is to say that a higher status means their time is more important? Like what Einstein said, 'Time is relative', we should appreciate each other's time and not treat them differently just because of a mere social status.
It was a very insightful and detailed evaluation on your post! Thank you!
-Darrell
Sem1902darrell.blogspot.com
Hi yee tong,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your post! I think that your observations and conclusions are accurate; sometimes I myself find difficulty in communicating with the older generation, because respect is demanded of me; on the other side of the coin, some are unwilling to give the same. It brings back childhood memories of my verbal scuffles with certain older members of my family - there were several instances which my well-constructed protestations and arguments against what they were doing were curtly shut down with a dismissive "Don't speak to your elders like that" or "you should respect me", which has done little else but to create greater walls between open communication between us ( the nerve of them to wonder why they cannot connect with the "strawberry generation" ) .
On a side note, yee tong, I feel that your grammar and overall use of language has improved since the last blog post, and I believe that is commendable! Please keep up the good work; remember, effort is never wasted.
Best regards,
Kai ler