So what makes conflict? Perhaps the cause of conflict is due to the lack of communication between two individual or even because of a clash of personalities. I would like to share my personal experience of a conflict situation that happened during my days serving National Service (NS). One day, we were doing our arms cleaning routine, my buddy, Ken was cleaning his rifle and realised that one of his rifle cleaning equipment, a bronze brush has gone missing. Knowing the dire consequence of losing a piece of military equipment, Ken started to panic and rummage around the place. As I was stationed rather close to Ken, I was curious about the fuss his making and begun to question him what happened. After understanding the situation, I helped him to search around the area hoping that he dropped it somewhere near. However, one of the platoon mates, Jack, who noticed our actions decided to shout to the whole world that we are searching for a missing item.
What happened next is obvious, my buddy and I got punished for losing the item. Ken, being the dominant one decided to confront Jack. As he approaches him, he questioned him why he wanted to escalate the situation. Jack, who thinks that he did nothing wrong ignored Ken's words and even ask him to back off. After seeing how Jack reacted, Ken loses his temper and went to throw a punch to his face but luckily a group of our platoon mates are able to stop him in time. I shall stop the story here and let us talk about the conflict that just happened.
This conflict may be caused by many reasons but allow me to share some key points to learn from this. Firstly, I can identify the feeling that my buddy Ken has is anger. Being angry, he did not think of the consequence that he might face after doing something. However, what caused him to be angry is Jack who did not know how to handle interpersonal conflict. Perhaps, the solution to prevent this conflict is Jack should have not brushed off Ken and instead communicated nicely with him. So friends what do you think about my solution or do you have another solution?
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John Yio
https://johnyio.blogspot.com/
Josiah Goh
https://josiahsem1902.blogspot.com
Shi Wei
sem1902darrell.blogspot.com
What happened next is obvious, my buddy and I got punished for losing the item. Ken, being the dominant one decided to confront Jack. As he approaches him, he questioned him why he wanted to escalate the situation. Jack, who thinks that he did nothing wrong ignored Ken's words and even ask him to back off. After seeing how Jack reacted, Ken loses his temper and went to throw a punch to his face but luckily a group of our platoon mates are able to stop him in time. I shall stop the story here and let us talk about the conflict that just happened.
This conflict may be caused by many reasons but allow me to share some key points to learn from this. Firstly, I can identify the feeling that my buddy Ken has is anger. Being angry, he did not think of the consequence that he might face after doing something. However, what caused him to be angry is Jack who did not know how to handle interpersonal conflict. Perhaps, the solution to prevent this conflict is Jack should have not brushed off Ken and instead communicated nicely with him. So friends what do you think about my solution or do you have another solution?
Last Edited:
Commented on
John Yio
https://johnyio.blogspot.com/
Josiah Goh
https://josiahsem1902.blogspot.com
Shi Wei
sem1902darrell.blogspot.com
Hey Yee Tong, I understand how you felt, or how Ken felt in that situation, as I myself have gone through a similar experience in my time serving in National Service.
ReplyDeleteThe thing about conflicts like these, is that some people are really oblivious to the consequences of their actions. If we take time to look at it from that person's point of view, they might really think that they did the right thing. In cases like these, try talking to them nicely, and explaining your point of view. It might help the other person to understand the situation better, and they might be able to make a better decision in the future.
Overall, I think that you handled the situation well, as you did not resort to violence while in a fit of rage.
Hi Yee Tong,
ReplyDeleteI can relate to how you feel. In NS, people were forced to do things that they do not agree on. So it is common for people to get hot headed easily. In your scenario, you handled the conflict very well, talking things out is usually the best way to handled this kind of situation. The words you choose is very important as well because people become overly sensitive when they are hot headed. If were in your shoe, I would confront the guy together but would try to avoid getting physical. It is good to clear things out and reason with people. All in all I think that you handled the situation very appropriately.
-Darrell
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ReplyDeleteHi Yee Tong, Josiah here, that was a great and detailed recount of your time in national service, if placed in a similar situation as your friend Ken, I would have reacted the similarly if not worse. What I felt that was a real issue here is Jack’s lack of situational awareness and emotional perception in such matters. For his intentions may be trying to help Ken but it eventually backfired, similarly if placed in a situation as Jack, reacting in such a manner is not uncommon, for he was trying to help and instead got an ungrateful response from the person he was trying to help. Your solution to such situation seems to be an appropriate course of action, since both parties have some form of misunderstanding that needs to be cleared up. However, what I would suggest additionally is to also have Jack to not react on impulse, for he was announcing loudly that Ken has lost his equipment, maybe to assist him, but he should have reacted more discreetly and have more emotional perception. Ultimately, it’s through such endeavours in which we grow and become better people.
ReplyDeleteHi Yee Tong ,
ReplyDeleteGood day, I love your solution. I can relate with your story as i have observed such situation when i was doing my national service. If i were you , i would be doing the same thing as what you did. I would choose my words wisely and find the appropriate situation to bring it up. But it's also important to be very careful if the other party becomes very physical. Best to avoid such scenario as well. Ultimately, it takes two hands to clap, both party must be willing to solve this issue or else nothing can be done.